Good manners– All parents have experienced at some point of shame when their child’s behavior has made them the center of attention of all eyes. Perhaps you have ever hearda comment from your son to someone familiar commenting on the obvious problem of overweight he has or telling someone who smokes that he will die of cancer. Or maybe when they give him a gift he simply says that he does not like it … If all this sounds to you, it’s time to teach your children good manners so they will not be ashamed.
First you must bear in mind that these shameful moments do not have to do with your abilities as parents: all children do unpredictable things and have times when they are rude, have a bad mood or do not know social expectations.
TECHNIQUES TO TEACH GOOD MANNERS AND AVOID EMBARRASSING MOMENTS
When you are in front of other people forget what they think, try not to make disciplinary decisions in the heat of the moment because your emotional state can play tricks on you. It is better that you can talk with your child calmly about what has happened. Often you feel that there are security problems or that the behavior is getting worse, it is better to wait for calm.
If your child regularly shows bad or disrespectful behavior, try to teach him empathy and consider how his behavior can affect others. While you teach him every day, you can ask him questions like, “What do you think I feel when you talk to me like that?” This will help you to listen to your tone and to know why your words were rude as well as the tone you have used. In this way you will learn to control your tone and words better when talking with others.
With the rest of the family
Try to interpret your child’s behavior to know exactly what he needs; maybe he’s just hungry or tired. If your child regularly demonstrates rude and disrespectful behavior you will have to teach empathy towards family members. You need to take into account the underlying cause of your behavior so that it is easier to handle it.
Do not be afraid to leave the place where you are with your child if you notice that the bad behavior increases or begins to be dangerous. Do not threaten but follow the consequences you think necessary without having to think about the comments of others, just do what you would do even if you were alone at home. Consider what behavior you will allow in order to have a comfortable and fun family experience and what will be the behavior that you cannot ignore.
Talk to your family about the anticipation of anything that has to do with your child’s education so that they do not interfere, or at least help the necessary.
With the school or other authority figures
Remember your child that manners are always necessary, you can say codas as: “When someone gives us a gift, we thank him”. Always have a phrase prepared for times that may cause embarrassment and remind your child of the importance of good manners, such as: In our family, we do not talk to each other that way.
There may be embarrassing moments that occur in front of teachers and they can work with you to educate your child and learn to be the best version of him. Do not laugh what is not funny, do not justify their behavior, or excuse them. Simply ask your child to apologize or remind him of the manners and then address the behavior. The justification for your child’s behavior sends a wrong message and encourages bad behavior in the future.
You will have to manage your own shame and concentrate on the need to educate and guide your children. Coping with embarrassing moments is one of the most difficult aspects of parenting. Therefore, at some point, you must leave everything to face a crisis.
How to teach good manners to a child
Children learn good behavior and manners by example. Suggestions to deal with tantrums or tantrums and teach your children to behave in any situation.
Possibly, your child is not prepared to have good manners at all times, but if you start teaching them now, you will be glad later that you have done so.
Start with the basics. Saying “please” and “thank you” is something new for your child and it takes time to learn and make it a habit. Make this the first step towards a good education.
Second, practice what you preach. As you may have noticed, your son always looks at you, listens to you and learns from you. The best way to encourage him to be educated is for you to show good manners yourself. Be sure to always say “please” when you ask for something, and to thank him when he helps you. Speak in a polite tone of voice and look him in the eye so he knows that good manners involve more than using the right words.
Third, put emphasis on the positive. Instead of reprimanding him when he forgets his manners, praise him a lot when he behaves correctly. Tell him he looks older when he says “please” and “thank you,” and that people like him. It’s disconcerting when your son is rude to others, but getting angry with him will only make him resist your efforts to teach him to be considerate. Your goal is for your young child to exercise his independence, boasting good manners, not resisting them.
How to teach values to your children?
Teaching values to your kids is easier than you think. Know the importance of these good behaviors and how life will transform them.
Values in children
Values are beliefs or attitudes that at a given moment shape and direct our life. It is a mistake to suppose that, in order to learn them, one has to go to school or university. These are taught with our daily behavior, but, do you know how to instill values in your children?
The example is key to teach values
Through contact with the different people with whom he lives in his daily activities, the child is forming his own scale of values: he absorbs the behaviors, attitudes and ways of acting that we have every day. Parents, but also uncles, grandparents or teachers, are the main individuals who are responsible for transmitting, directly or indirectly, their own values.
Just as each society can be defined by describing what the predominant values are at a given historical moment for that society, so each individual can be described or defined if we can identify what their main valuesare.
In this way before the question, when should we start teaching these qualities to children? I would answer: always. From the moment of birth, the child is learning to capture the values of the people around them, and if they ask me, how can I instill values in your children? It would answer: being oneself, being congruent with one’s beliefs.
Many conflicts have to do with a difference between the things you believe and the way you should act before the world. For a child to act in a manner consistent with his beliefs, he has to see in his parents this same attitude of congruence.
There is a proverb in Humanistic Psychology: “No one can take another where he has never been.” Well, we cannot raise honest children by being dishonest, nor can we teach the value of truth by lying . Only through our own actions can we teach children these fundamental behaviors that will guide their lives.
These concepts are particularly important in today’s life, the life of globalization and communication at breakneck speed. The access that social networks and the Internet provide to children, in many cases can cause them to lose control, because the values that apply in different parts of the world do not necessarily apply to the culture in which you live.
Hence, today it is much more important that, as parents, we pay particular attention to the way we transmit our virtues to our children. Qualities such as respect for human dignity, respect for privacy, diversity and the integrity of each person, are universal values that, from the womb, we must begin to transmit to our children with the example of our own way of life.
Finally, be persistent. As soon as you get used to saying “please” and “thank you” at home, teach him to do it with others as well. At this age, children like perseverance, and if a rule only applies to certain situations, that will confuse you and cost you more than just obeying it.