Choose the battles wisely with your child’s school

child's school

 It is important to know which battles to choose so that you are not always at war. During your child’s school years there will be times when you probably do not agree with the values ​​Or rules they impose, but there will be times when you have to look elsewhere and other times you will not be able to do so. The way you handle the problems and how you choose to get involved will strengthen both you and your relationship with your child and the school.

A child’s school years should be a happy and supportive experience, and this can be if communication is excellent for all parties involved. First you will have to lay the foundations for a good relationship between parents and teachers.

At the beginning of the school year, introduce yourself and meet your child’s main teacher. By doing this, you not only show interest in your child’s education, but you also begin to build a relationship instead of choosing to make contact when a problem arises. In addition, your child will feel more secure within their school environment.

A good relationship between parents and teachers leads to better grades, children who are happier in school both emotionally and socially and children who behave better.

A child’s school years should be a happy and supportive experience. A child’s school years should be a happy and supportive experience.


child's school

While you may be tempted to bombard your child’s teacher with every little objection you may have, keep in mind that they are not there to hurt or discriminate against you. You must be the adult that is a good example for your children and not just the adult who complains and gets angry about everything.

If your child comes to you with complaints from the school, you have to take the opportunity as a teaching opportunity … each situation is a valuable opportunity to learn and solve problems with appropriate solutions to each case.

You will have to stay calm and positive to teach your child to do the same when faced with similar problems later in life. If your child has a bad reaction to something that happens at school, you may be tempted to react too, but pause or reflect before responding with angry messages. Model a problem-solving behavior instead of complaining about getting angry.

Do not forget to hold your child responsible for their education. If you have not done homework, or have not passed an exam, do not justify it. In these cases you can go talk with your child’s teacher to talk about their development in the classes and give you first-hand information about what affects the school.

Whenever you talk to your children’s teachers, you will always have to do it with an attitude of respect even if you do not feel that way inside. If you speak negatively of your teacher or school in front of your child, he will do the same.

Do not forget to hold your child responsible for their education. Do not forget to hold your child responsible for their education


When it comes to school-related issues, gossip from parents can quickly lead to problems developing out of control. If you have any concerns to attend, do it without the need to discuss it with other parents. There are behaviors that you’d better avoid:

  • Go directly to the school board to address problems with the teacher and the principal
  • Get involved in gossip or rumors
  • Empower negative rumors in school
  • Take control of the class group of the mother in a dominant and controlling way, or be a negative class mother.
  • Confront the staff, other parents or the principal publicly or in the hallways of the school.
  • Face the child of another person without posing the problem adequately to an adult.
  • Facing other parents at school

The problems may vary depending on the parties, but if you think you have to talk with a professional school, do it in private and always with respect, calm and tranquility.

Key to raising happy and empathetic children

Develop loving relationships with children

Children learn about respect when they are treated that way. Then, when our children feel loved, they become attached to us and that attachment makes them more receptive to our values ​​and teachings. To strengthen this, the researchers recommend:

Spend regular time together, an emotionally intimate space with children. For example, reading time at bedtime or allocate a fixed day a month to spend alone with each child and share an activity that you like.

Establish meaningful conversations that bring out your thoughts such as: What was the best part of your day? The hardest part? What did you achieve today that makes you feel good? What did they do for you today? What did you do for someone? What did you learn today at school or outside of school?

Educate with the example

Children learn values ​​by observing our own actions and those of other adults that they respect. Therefore, we must be aware of practicing honesty, impartiality and caring for ourselves. Seek to resolve conflicts peacefully, control anger and other complex emotions. But we must also show them humility, self-awareness and honesty, recognizing our mistakes and shortcomings.

Some advice from psychologists:

  • Participate regularly in community service, social causes or any form of contributing to society. Better yet if you make your children a part.
  • Talk with your child when he makes a mistake that affects him, ask for forgiveness and explain how he plans to avoid making the mistake next time.
  • Relieve stress: it is necessary to relieve stress because this allows you to be more attentive to others. Therefore, it is recommended that parents spend time with their friends, go for a walk, meditate, perform some sport, etc.

Worry about others as a priority

It is very important for children to hear and see from their parents that caring about others is a priority and that it is as important as their own happiness.

We must maintain high ethical expectations of children and prioritize that on other expectations: that they fulfill their commitments, that they do the right thing even when it is difficult; defend important principles of fairness and justice, etc. As advice they recommend:

Give a clear message: instead of saying “I just want you to be happy”, we should add “I just want you to be good and happy”. Verbalize that approach to life.

Encourage children to solve their frustrations. Before letting your child leave a sports team, band or friendship, ask them to consider their obligations to the group or friend and encourage them to solve problems.

Give them opportunities to practice caring for the rest and gratitude

Studies show that people who practice the habit of expressing gratitude are more likely to be helpful, generous, compassionate and forgiving, and are also more likely to be happy and healthy. For children, psychologists recommend:

  • Give them real responsibilities: help them routinely, for example, with housework and with younger siblings. When these types of routine actions are expected but not rewarded, they are more likely to take root in the actions of each day.
  • Talk about loving and disinterested acts that they see in their daily life or on television and about acts of justice and injustice that they could witness or hear on the news. Ask them how they see these actions and explain why they think they are loving or disinterested, just or unfair.
  • That “giving thanks” is transformed into a daily ritual at the time of the meal, bedtime or in the car, for example. Encourage children to express their appreciation for family members, teachers or other people who contribute to their lives.

Expand the circle of concern of the children

Almost all children sympathize and care about a small circle of families and friends. Our challenge is to help children learn to empathize and care about someone outside that circle, like a new child in class, someone who does not speak their language, a new neighbor, etc. This is because they must also consider how their decisions affect a community. How to achieve it?

Encourage them to consider the perspectives and feelings of those who may be vulnerable, such as a new classmate or a child who has family problems.

Give them simple ideas to take concrete measures to help others, such as comforting a classmate who was a victim of bullying or give tips to reach the new student.

Use stories from newspapers or TV to initiate conversations with children about the difficulties and challenges of other people, or simply the different experiences of children in another country or community.

Reinforce the importance of listening to others, especially those people who may seem unknown and may be more difficult to understand immediately.

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